Most of my friends say I am optimistic. Sure, I usually try to see good in people, think positive in difficult situations, learn from mistakes and make myself better. However, there is the other side of me. As the title says. One month has passed since my new life began here in Boston. I am being absolutely honest here to tell you that… at first, I was struggling. Trust me. I live in a safe neighborhood, take meaningful classes, have very nice people around me, and most importantly, I am where I wanted to be for a very long time. The last statement was ironically why I was losing myself.
Coming back to the United States was what I had been dreaming about for the past four years. I was not able to give it up, and worked hard on the process to be here. Supports from friends and family definitely helped me to come to Boston as well. That is why, I was terrified to disappoint these precious people and myself. I just wanted them to see how happy I am, so I hid my negative emotions.
However, this is the time for a confession, I will tell you that I was worried about my future, feeling lonely, and frustrated with myself for not being enough. Admitting that to myself was also hard. I hate to be vulnerable even to myself. Even so, I had faith in such a desperate moment. I believed that I could make things better little by little. To this day, I do my best to get adjusted, accept difficulties, and enjoy my life here. It is not perfect, but at least I am back to be the normal side of myself.